Weather report for Sun, feb - 22.

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 I am listening to daftpunk and there album discovery right now. I obsess over the track digital love. It is my favorite music video and I am quite the fan of music videos.


It reminds me of the era I heard it in. Which was defined by space battleship Yamato and orguss and 2nd edition warhammer 40k books. This was a time right after the big bang of toonami to my spirit a kind of blossoming of my imagination after the first decade of my life was spent kind breaking me down. 


One of the things I’ve learned from writing this blog is that my past doesn’t add up and I am on some level obsessed with that incongruence.  There is quality every episode in my life a year or two of consistent experience and then an apposing life in my memory appears. Where completely different version of myself occurs a life Alien to the one I had lived the life preceding up till that point.


It is likely a combination of how my brain processes reality and objective incongruence from the reality processed. A hyper sensitive kind of expression of thought as a person imagines the past over and over again and again. Trying to pen down what went wrong… all for such a simple conclusion of the wires were crossed in a funky way.  


My sister asked me a year or two ago “What are your plans for the future?” 


My response “I don’t have a future.” Immediately after saying this I knew it was true.


I think being melodramatic I think it s more a kind of fixation with truth and how alien it is to human experience. We long to reduce all of reality to a binary state of success or failure…. While clinging to a hope that how our brain wants to understand is as important as what is understood. Or put another way: reality does not work on those terms and yet we do as a part of it. We over hear a language not our own both quiet and ambiguous making us march forward towards a choice we never fully comprehend. And we wander what is the choice? And why is all reality seemingly grounded in the process of reaching it.


We can accept or avoid. Though little of the this has to do with active participation in that choice. But what are we if not a series of conclusions? Maybe a series of anxieties clinging to a hope or at the very least we’re longing for validation that we are more than a 1 or a 0. 


Peace and love.

Stay safe out there friends.

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