The Sock-Monkey As Alone

  "The axe forgets ; the tree remembers ." - African Proverb The scariest thing I can tell you is...            "it is just good business." It is the thing people tell themselves.    when they know, they are doing wrong. But, even scarier people say it when they think they are doing right.                                   I refuse to be a slave to "good business."                                    but still, I spend my disability check                                     on things, I do not need or ultimately desire    "made in China" on everything I own        because it is good business.                          Despite the fact, they are human beings suffering       All for someone else's business.                                     To destroy souls for monetary gain,                                A system that can't help but leave you maimed.   To be reminded that your children must fight for scraps and fear the whip.

 "there is nothing a loser like you can teach me about living with shame."                                                                              - Mugen, (Samurai Champloo). So I have been productive, but it doesn't change anything. I have been gentle, but that makes you fragile. The whole thing about life is it is made of contradictions. One of them is that we choose to believe in absolutes when we can pick and choose. Without even the understanding for most that we can't follow traditions without the self-getting in the way. Or put another way we are always an island till the ocean takes us. We can follow the rules of the other islands (or to make this metaphor really literal) make alliances with our neighbors but still, you will be you, and I will be me. The ocean takes everything be it the void or the light we always return to where we came from.     I have failed at everything in my life even my suicide attempts. I have done bad things and did not h

"life is filled with abstractions, and the only way we make heads or tails out of it is through intuition. intuition is seeing the solution, it's emotion and intellect going together."  -David Lynch   "You're right on the money with that. We're all like detectives in life. There's something at the end of the trail that we're all looking for." - David Lynch Thought I would sharpen up my mind by flexing my writing muscles and doing a real blog post for the first time in a while. Been drawing a bunch lately and writing poems though tonight I am going to try to finish a short story I started a couple of months ago but didn't finish yet. It has been on my mind, but I was temporarily lobotomized by a medication that called Trileptal. That was sold to me as an anti-anxiety medicine but was indeed a "mood stabilizer" which is a clinical way of saying it is designed and works best when it is lobotomizing you.      So I am just getti

“Anarchism is democracy taken seriously.” ― Edward Abbey “People have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want and the courage to take.” ― Emma Goldman         Part 1, a fearful noize.  Precious as the primordial ooze,     Anarchy gives birth to order. it's not a truth you can quickly lose     discord and disorder on the border. The Democrat says,  "I will stop these bullets with good intentions." The Republican says, "It's our second amendment solution." The Anarchist says, "There is no reason to civil when the shit hits the fan."            Part 2, meditations on the free worlds Alamo. The truth is a massacre for those who choose to dream. While I will look after her or, remind you of her screams. I see no point or purpose in your hostility. And No compassion from me for those who are enemies. Yet we are always there, romantics beneath your gun. Martyrs for sanity before the revolution.      Part 3, survivali

The vocabulary of treachery    is unknown to the speaker. The alphabet from A to Z,    meanings that destroy me. The shortcomings of intent    in the poetry of ideas. Iniquity in my lungs                and on my tung. Laughter is the enemy                  of the law. All the while afraid of consent,    his mothers favorite.

  Distant in the green              of a filter, I have chosen. In the flicker of the womb beneath the sheets...              I feel something tighten and take a hold I adore and am taken by the stream              Spoiled by tenderness to blunt to feel shame as if it is time to settle something.              "I will never forfeit," I say as you forgive my naivete. "do it as much as you want..."  you whisper,             your face sideways on a pillow. In the flicker of the womb,   til we forget who we are. In the flicker of the womb,   till we share each other scars... In the lowlands south of the milky way                                   Beneath the sheets, we tremble and pray. infinite and finite as the universe   unsure of who to thank, but grateful.

  “Let's get really fucked up and full of sentimental despair and then finally decide life,                         despite every heartbreak and anguished cry, is worth each pulse and breath.”                              ― Jim Dodge You have taught me so much...             but I hide these truths from others. Not because I am selfish but because as Mary Poppins would say            "a spoonful of sugar, helps the medicine go down." However, in my case, the truth is as sour as a green-apple or a kiss after sex.             I may be the shadow of the light that I seek, but I only paraphrase you out of respect. You have taught me so much...             still, I have so much to learn. An economy of style with the public domain honest to goodness moral truth.               With a desire for my life to be as much of a poem as what I decide to put down on paper. I have a hard time writing this because most of what you have said in casual circ

                "It means what it says."                                       - Samuel Becket.                               I The lousy child screams out "she's hurting her!"                       The father says "I am in control, nothing bad will happen." The lousy child says "something is already happening!"                        All the while young daughter and mother struggle and scream. One twice the size of the other and happy to go off.                        Stuck inside of childhood recollections, you do not need my therapy.                             II  The evil grown man says "So I take it God is not Morgan Freeman?" Morgan Freeman as God says "this is he." The evil Grown man says "I take we all have someone to answer to now don't we?" God no longer sounding like morgan freeman says    "shut the hell up, or I will reach through this radio and grab you by the throat." With pr

       "I prefer my crazies childish and well supervised."    - Robert Christgau I promise not to talk about my feelings for you.  I will apologize for how much I stare. With the hope that I may be allowed to see you still.  I am sorry for my character flaws in light of the things that we don't share. Despite how much you have helped me...       the different way you care. Unsure of if I am ill or confronting what             shouldn't be diagnosed. Or just stepping in your glue.   You have the keys to the sideshow. I am happy on display next to the pickled punks... the audience steps on popcorn needing to be                                       swept away. I see your smile through the formaldehyde and in your glow     I can see you feel sorry for the litter's runt. For the the warmth your life gives me I am happy I                                   was sold to the company.

                        I As Max Ernst was a painter and Andre Breton was a poet. a debaser of a chaser is but a dying old hornet                         II Where stinging leaves a mark on the hand of an artist. An artist scars the vain heart of the cold materialist.                        III But both are stuck in line with a single cold question. Asking how does it feel to die? If there is no ascension...

I was aborted on February 7th, 1989. Raised by the dead out of sympathy for ice picks. I found that the world was just an illusion. And my friends were judges waiting with handcuffs. As always I am anxious and unsure. I was just recently told that since I was an abortion...        that I didn't have time enough to sin,             clouding judgment in my favor unfairly.                   So  I was raised by the spirit of iniquity and the dead. All around me fallen spirits bearing the burden of temptation. So they may draw out my real character,       making room in heaven for the genuinely righteous and deserving. I understand that heaven and hell are just places where a soul belongs. Judgment's only purpose is to build you a home...                   somewhere inside of you and outside of you. In Limbo over every church is written the phrase "Read these words and be comforted by them, it came from love." As always this makes me smile for my vice

 "We want to be nice but not stupid."                                           - David Lynch     I found myself seeing the dead that my comrades denied.   Drunk on whatever grows inside of a corpse. One foot in front of the other all the way down the street. My friend Brian - "it's a similarity!"                                "of sorts," said Seth They were distracted by the dead but            I had made it to the mountain just to be arrested. Unnerving as when I drank water from the stream. I gave Jamie a hug without her consent, so she shook me off and screamed                        "get off me, dude!" My friend Brian served jail time for having child pornography.           So his ex-wife made him sleep on the couch when his young daughters stayed with him.        A family friend who was a prostitute shared a bed with the children to make sure no harm came to them from the hands of there father. Scratching glass with razors, what is

Walking with paper-mache-wings, as if mistaken for some other kind of shadow twirling through the wind as spirits on holiday. Jack o' lanterns are smiling and laughing to Buddy Holly's not fade away. Without the hours of patience for the devil's fairytales. My angel sit's in the dark of a tower... Post-German expressionist cinema is so tame, the ghost masturbates with a glass dildo with                            her favorite cricket inside of it. Kristin Tzara does not understand the pleasure of the task at hand. Nor, what the cricket fears. Desperately Jumping with each penetration    but forgotten after each vibration in the hand of God. The large cork that imprisons it inside of a novelty item, that is sold in gas stations on the way to hell...

Echo fortunes of cause and effect, bouncing around inside of the rhythm of my brain. The defects move me forward but checked by the past entertainment. Heavy on what I try to express... Whether as a passive mode of interest in the dirt or envy of the earthworm. That hangs in tapestries of cobwebs or some lesser form of association. Unsure of what to learn or forget... unsure of if it is good business. To be honest but not cruel.

                  I So sad to hear it said beyond the shadow of a doubt. There screaming "off with his head," as the Quakers twist and shout.                 II In the audience of a fool or a men's rights activist. I can act like a tool while among the savages.                 III "mom, what is a beta-male?" treated like a Salem witch "someone born inside of hell!" So logistics are a bitch.

                      1 Innocents is so easy, not the ending of a soul. Maturity is such a doozy but ambiguous without goals.                    2 Time will take you there if ever you were unsure. don't envy what is unfair as soon you'll be mature.                    3 Jaded beyond death unsure of what was sent. A poem for the blessed because you are innocent.