The Sock-Monkey As Alone

  There is value in subverting expectations. Of playing with understanding and lack of understanding. The basterds and their game is defacing the third reich, Of scalping the nazi fasciest pin head sons of bitches and showing them as the delusional and arrogant caricatures of humanity they are.   There is need to understand that defacing and maiming in this way is a commentary on what nazis attempted to do to world history. It is an erasure of the power of propaganda. It is a very complex existential crisis and commentary on that crisis. In that used terror and an insane idea of racial purity… of purging a meme and not a gene. Because the failure of humanity is in a meme and not a gene. The movie is about a Jewish woman and her black boyfriend burning down a theater and sending a message to Germany. The movie is about a handful of New York Jews and a Tennessean named Aldo. Scalping and mutilating the corpse of a delusion of racial purity. And even when the compromises ...

  So blogging regular again mostly because I need to stretch my intellectual muscles? Or, potential verbal reflexes? to stay engaged with the current state of the apocalypse: till me and other people like me (the disabled who will be rounded up and put in concentration camps). I think my social nature is kinda dying. I take care of my bird and little friend Luna and send these messages in a bottle across the waves of eternity to share and that is most of what I need at this point in my life. I spent this morning painting miniatures for a crew of five parsecs from home. So I Can play the game in the next couple of weeks. I have mostly recovered from the flu/cold I have been suffering from for most of this week. Though I feel a bit scatter brained as if part of me will never fully recover from the damage of the past week. Mostly on a breathing level. I have also decided to restart working on Grim Metal Bedlam my miniature skirmish game that the play test rules are on itch u...

  I think British fantasy is defined in my mind and best exemplified by Terry Gilliams fantasy films Time Bandit’s and the adventures of baron Munchausen. Time bandits favors the more British elements and Munchausen is very much terry’s masterpiece. Yes I know Terry Gilliam is an American expatriate and the only non British python. But still British fantasy is captured very rarely on the screen. The sardonic bite and grounded whimsey is something that is very British in its character. Time bandits is a Monty python skit about Robin Hood bookended by one of the great fantasy films of all time. The grotesque and dark define its panoramic view of absurdity. I was introduced the movie anecdotally by my uncle who told the basic plot and described the movie to me. Often I act resentful towards sentimental BS I posture however I literally thought about this movie for two decades before I saw it on HBO max. It is now one of the films I study having replaced hunter x hunter in my we...

  My current life is me sorting through a midlife crisis while also trying to get my brain together. I have paranoid schizophrenia and I Think that coming terms with only having so much time left on this planet is making me lash out a bit. I normally watch the animated hobbit movie once a week. I don’t think it is a masterpiece but I am extremely biased towards it. It is in many ways foundational in what I like. I think it was animated by top craft and most of the animators went on to work on the nausicaa movie. Though it’s character designs are very much of it’s moment in the post hippie Tolkien craze and it is probably thee definitive statement of the mixing psychedelic haze and gentle mystic perspective of Tolkien that inspired the likes T. rex and the Beatles. It has some of Zack Snyder sucker punch era problems in that it is paced as a music video. With songs telling as much of the story as any of the dialogue until the battle of five armies where it kind becomes more pr...

I been thinking about Stephen king all day. His book: on writing, is one of my favorites. I think the situation approach to setup of a story, rather than focusing on traditional plot was on the novellas I wrote Five years ago. Combined what the provocative aspect of there more childish ambitions obviously influenced El topo and you get the stew that made series of statements. I am watching Stephen king’s it miniseries adaption on max. Because I am not up to a full reread of the novel. I am coughing so much I Can not sleep. And I Want to write something again.  I know I am random with artistic stuff. Sometimes wanting to make comics sometimes illustrated novels. Today I favor novels because I like the result not the process of create comics. I have some issues with my neck and feel like if I tried to draw for ten hour a day I would be all messed up. But writing is a big deal to me venting my thoughts out loud is helpful. I think that hunter x hunter is the anomalies it’s...

  Auntie F-bomb looked upset staring at me. She didn’t say she was upset but I could tell. “I often call my mom three or four times a day and I normally bring up the anecdote about the lipstick and the belt.” Auntie F-bomb - “what is the anecdote about the lipstick and the belt?” “I often make an elaborate joke about how when I was a kid they would (when I was bad get a fresh tube of red lipstick and manically cover my lips with till they were thick muddy crimson red). I would take my father belt of kissing the belt leaving red impressions of my lips on the leather strap… then he would start wailing on me with it! Screaming “”kiss it! Kiss it! Kid your ass goodbye!”” Auntie F-bomb “whats the punchline?” “My parents psychologically abused me so that they scarred me as bad as they could without ever leaving a mark.” Auntie F-bomb was crying. I think it was more about how I found a way to mention her without mention her that frustrated her. Maybe that is why she can only h...

 I may very well be “somewhat random” “Art as therapy?” Or “as if wounds heal!” Expectancy: what is seen by fandoms…  These words carry an cold intent to kill. The prior self while dragging him forward We’re Keeping him alive for the snuff film. And so With each rhyme I feel more cornered  Yet anticipate closure as a thrill  A reluctant tea party without guests Except the siblings wishing they wern’t there A glass bottle of love poured on each dish As if Mocking the violence they’re spared My past lie is refusing to survive only because the closure is not mine.