The Sock-Monkey As Alone

  If it’s Not the Biblical apocalypse then it is the secular one… though, personally… I think it is Biblical. The vibe today is tension. A fear of naming what is going on. A fear of discussing what is happening and the repercussions of those cultural tensions. I would be lying if I said I understood it. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling but still we continue. Still we try fina a voice of our own in a destiny out of our hands. The die is cast rule: a simple rule for rpgs I came up with years ago. Where at the beginning of a session you take a deck of cards and deal all the player characters one. If they get knocked out of the game you flip the card over and if it is black your character is dead if it’s read they are only wounded (I know it is the it is the die is cast rule and uses cards but the original idea of using a dice and having a saving throw down a cup and then revealing a roll at the beginning of the game and reveal when you die was far to melodramatic a...

  There are two ways to respond to tacky kitsch one is be extremely jaded and resentful to the non Olympian status of something’s aesthetic value. As if life is cheaper by existing on a spectrum… and the other more inclusive let’s call it the “yes and that is ok” School of thought. The never ending story (1984) resides in a strange position (at an impasse). Much like all the major final fantasy games you could include the movie in the same genre of most YA fiction… let’s call it Babies first existential crisis. So what is so divisive about this film? Depends on when someone saw it and if they have read the book (a classic in the vein of the phantom tollbooth or Alice in wonderland). If you saw it when you were a kid it could be a door opening you to neighborhoods of ideas and perspectives all in a wonderful camp 80s style that was just out there in the air (The camp 80s fantasy style is defined Jim Henson and his creature shop though there are many great films you could bundle ...

  Ken's Labyrinth is a 1993 first-person shooter for MS-DOS , created by a teenage Ken Silverman…. It is weird and fuggly and I love ever so much. I was playing on an old ms dos computer as a young lad (like five or six). I played Ken’s Labyrinth most of a year (till my mom caught me playing Wolfenstein 3d and I was banned from games for a couple of years). Real fond memories of that game. The strange sound affects and surreal vibe of killer clown meets the journal art of that one kid who gets bullied to much. It really spoke to me. Now I know after the last month or so of anecdotes some peoples eyes might be rolling while quoting every person who has ever watched a happy console gamer YouTube video (“that guy sure has a lot of memories. I mean it seems he has forgot NOTHING.”) Anyways played it recently and decided I would never likely beat it again. The midlife crisis in me felt so sad. I am coming to terms with these recent blog entries that I am bogged down and burdened b...

  I seem to have my hours turned around finally and other than some random nose bleeds finally seem over the flu. The last couple of weeks have been hard or week was so sick I was borderline delirious and all while taking care of a baby bird that needs to be out of her cage at least two hours a day. I tried my hardest to get her out for thirty minutes every three hours but there are times when I was far too sick. Though she at least has been out of her cage an hour every day. I don’t feel completely unredeemable but am happy to be back on schedule. The goals for the day are to write some for the grim metal bedlam rulebook and read some more of the lord of the rings. I am still trying actively to cut back on how many blogposts I share a day though… I feel it’s good for me to share more keeps my brain having some traction on reality by having to process what is going on instead of going numb to the iniquity of the world. On another note I have decided to make a separate game...

 It was Long ago when the stars begun to dim The sun also shown before the rooster begun The dragon needed treasure and Value was scarce  So he hunted a blonde who to lock in his lair As The dragon said sweet maiden show me your thighs. As The maiden to the dragon did not comply The dragon to the maiden said give me a kiss  So With obscene jests she said you don’t deserve this. The dragon said woman Im a devil that’s truth The maiden said I choose not to take your abuse So the dragon “what will be your solemn last words?” “I laughed at his tears while his passion did burn.”

  “The universe is a madhouse and you are a patient.” I am going to type this anticipating I will likely share it. Though it is more for my process of making myself make a choice. The choices have to with defining direction. So I see polar opposite extremes on what I am aspiring to make this game on one end the anime space western influence (outlaw star, cowboy bebop and trigun). And other western science fiction (dune, the books of the new sun, and Ridley walker.) that is what I would say is the core influences… though it excludes some things which are really relevant like the tv shows like lexx and evangelion… it is a stew of contradictions…. Since I Was a kid I Wanted to make a game about exploring a fictional universe.  With a nonsense literature influenced perspective: Alice in wonder land is kind of a vibe I chase… I think it’s a over abundance of meaning. A kind of absurdity that is whimsical and tragic. I think the seed is back when I Was a kid (before my mom t...

  Pre-history: error-cell was my first attempt at making an analogue adventure game of sorts. I was in high school so at the this point the idea has been played with off and on for twenty years. The game has changed many times from the title green and purple, to error cell, and descent in to the dark. To the current Idea of carousel in the dark.  I will talk about each version right now Error-cell: was a game with characters stats on cards and functionally was a skirmish game on a chess board definitely inspired by final fantasy tactics dice were used in combat as stats so a d8 a d10… it slowly creeped up in power scale. I put more thought into the themes than the mechanics of the game… though theme is generic in hindsight. The characters were squads made of literary characters I was fond of that were in the public domain (think league of extraoridnary gentleman). Most of the thought was spent on visuals scribbling out versions of the characters in cohesive style. Gree...

  Woke up at an odd hour. It as of right now nearly midnight. Jim Kirk-woods album master of dragons was droning as I made a list in my head about what I was going to work on for grim metal bedlam tonight. Having never made a finished scenario/campaign for the game, though, have started three or four times. My work flow approach is just keep writing until there is a finished draft and then play test the hell out of it.  I find that I can mentally bounce around an idea a few times and come to a vague impression of its value in the bookkeeping aspect of the game. Example: expensive 500$ medium 250$ cheap 50$.  While a thousand and up is more novelty or unique. Like an eco- skeleton would maybe 2000+ but would make it where you could play the game with one unit that is really strong. As apposed to a squad. So you create a simple framework of how value is measured and then it becomes specific through play testing. One of the things I am playing with is stacking ammo...