I may have a broken heart: or the atrial flutter.

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I breathe,
  and like everyone else I am closer to death.
Five hours in the hospital
  my mother's back hurting from waiting with me.
My problem is on some level
   I want to die, even if I am scared of it.
 So what does it mean: I have a broken heart.
That these sorta dreams really do come true.
Or is as simple as I am afraid
    and control makes me safe.
I have a broken heart,
   but it was before my medical care.
I have a broken heart
   and I am more sad than scared.



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