Weather report: tue, mar-3rd

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 I got really depressed over the process of having to live through the word ending. I think it started really getting to me so spent most of the day listening to music.


Some days it feels like there is no point to sharing anything anymore. Almost afraid to talk about it because things are getting so iffy in my country.


I kind of regret sharing the rules for storm crow so early it was more a Proof of concept. Just getting the ideas out and on the page. A step in the in the right direction of starting to work on it.


In many ways Tarn and Zach Adam’s are my heroes. Just a relentless pursuit of following their bliss. And they arguebly made the greatest video game of all time in the process.


Now it does not often work out that way. But, it will never work out if you don’t try. I am paraphrasing but there was a Zach Adam’s interviews where he said “I have still have all these childish dreams of writing a grand fantasy novel and it will likely never happen but then again dwarf fortress happened. So who knows.”


Before madness became the defining feature of my life other than my faith… I had all these dreams and slowly putting myself back together I have gotten to where I am willing to work with a hope for the future again.


I don’t play dwarf fortress as much as I would like because my creative compulsion is so strong that I don’t want to get lost in it right now. I mean collectively I have likely played the game right at around a hundred hours but have spent almost as much time watching and listing to tarn and Zach interviews. But the influence of the game and its designers is vast in my life. 


Though this pep talk is in the center of the apocalypse. That is the struggle of life. Just remind yourself of dwarf fortress community slogan “losing is fun”. Even if you can’t have victory conditions to life I would wager it’s better to show up at the worst of times the your other options. If everything is going away embrace the freedom of what it means because all we have is the time allotted to us.

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