The Sock-Monkey As Alone

so after being told a couple of times i was the weird al of the xylophone i thought i would try my hand at writing a parody. i spent thirty minutes working on it and decided in my moment of masochism that this would be my first song i would submit to crowd review, i don't know what i was expecting but i got what i deserved. my final score was 2.2 out of 10 and i'm not sure if i should be hurt or proud. the main criticism was that i was among the worst singers of all time. and since i made the song up while i was singing it and it was a about failing aimlessly in the eyes of indifference from strangers and unfailing love from my family that left me unable to actually judge if in any way what i was doing and still having fun. i am now forced to confront my arrogance and bad habits which is a fancy way of saying i have a bad tendency to shit on a plate and call it a burger. so since half of my posted material is improvised in under a hour and the rest is nearly five ...

1 nirvana - in utero: this is the record that got me into music. plain and simple, catchy and rocking. it means more then it should, but why is that a bad thing? 2 slipknot - all hope is gone: the definitive dumb heavy record replacing iggy pops finest moments on my top ten. they scream they thrash and they get laid, don't let the reviews let you miss out on this one. 3 mgmt - Oracular Spectacular: they go farther then the stones as far as being gangster goes and they wrote catchier songs. yeah they are tricksters but so are magicians and our parents. 4 flipper - love: emo as irony and irony as the truth. if Jim Dodge fronted a punk band they would be smarter then flipper but not as rock n' roll 5 misfits - static age: melodic as anything with attitude and points for style. musically it may be the definitive rock n roll record . 6 killing joke - 2003 self titled: not as stupid and nearly as heavy as slipknot the go to record for those seeking raw power ...

so I have spent most of the last few days watching cartoons like adventure time and gravity falls and listening to folk blues such as Charlie parr and blind Willie Mctell. And loving that sweet spot of understanding you cant turn life into a photograph and that death is change and you cant change death. I find myself ether alone or with some old lady who is trying to share her cheap wine with me. And yes I know we know better lord, and none of ever meant to do no harm. I am so tired and just want to sail away "all the friends I ever had are gone...." I look her I the eyes and tell her we don't need friends that we have memories and life and could not ask for much more. "i just don't want to go home...." in my drunken logic I tell her your home is in your heart and that they will bury with that. starts to sing cheap wine again. "I'm better then all of this, you can go to hell, I'm better then this and i make my own way." she g...

so i just put up three of my worst song on the internet. And some how feel better for all the embarrassing madness that came out of it. Dark feelings funny thoughts and just generally feeling like i have shame my family and scared off m friends but none of that is new and i will probably do it again.. my life is like a ghost story to paraphrase Neil Gaiman i talk about how bored and scared i am and that it is not just a cry for help. I'm just tired and getting through what is left. I talk as if this is my last day every time I open my mouth and a few times have tried to kill myself. the last time they told me i shouldn't be alive. but here i am. but if i did kill myself i would like to think after they flush my ashes down the toilet that my blogs would be updated with the subject matter of "it's cold." and that i would whine of my misery of purgatory and think god i wasn't in hell all the while knowing that when i get there i will find a sign and...

Pataphysics is a branch of metaphysics that try’s to study irrational information. It is often thought of as a parody of the scientific method. I took a break from writing my novel and decided to write a essay on the nature of meaning from the perspective of one of my characters who is a pataphysician on the fundamental nature of meaning. It was written as a humorous exercise but i accidentally made the point that the meaning of the word meaning is completely reliant on the context of its position in a sentence to have any meaning by its own definition. So i came to the conclusion that whether god is is real or not life has no meaning not by any limitation on his part but that of the language we use to understand him. So whether your a scientist or a preacher life as something that can be expressed Is nothing but fragments of our limited language to describe a experience as a idea. While ideas can have meaning, a experience can only after it has ceased. Meaning our l...

All we try to do is connect. The desire of having our survival-ism validated is a powerful urge for anyone over thirteen. But to confuse the self inflicted violence that validation encourages through our efforts to have value independent of what god gave us seems to me to be the primary source of evil. whether your religious or not, this behavior leads to serving the devil, or at least mammon. Whether you take what I say as a literal fundamentalist christian ranting or as a confused pantheist struggling with language so he can reach in the dark is irrelevant. All that matters, is that there are consequences and we do feel them. But we are trapped in a world of living symbols. Ideas that have lasted longer then our species will be allowed. Ideas that cut through the soul and leave us naked in our sin. who am I to argue with the truth, when every day I become more and more predictable and life seems to me as redundant as my sin. So we wait, as the cards come down and o...

What is spirituality? Being spiritual is the pursuit of what is sacred. What’s sacred is what’s holy. What’s holy is what sanctified what s sanctified is what matters to god. Let me start this off by saying you can’t expect me to speak for god. All I know is what I have learned through trial and error to understand my place in the little corner of my universe I call my home. Were only going to use my personal experience because it’s practical. Your not writing this I am. I’ve known success and I have known failure but when we go to sleep at night that’s enough so why should death be any different emptiness is form, form is substance and freewill tells us what we are made of. We are all guilty before gods holy law. No matter what we do our works can’t save us. It only through grace that we are saved. So why should we try to keep the law? Because we have nothing better to do, Or because the commandments are the only guideline we have to what the skillful behavior of this life is. Zen has...