Journal for Monday, dec 22

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 I have a lot on my mind and most of it I don’t think I should say. It has to do with the end times and the responsibility of repentance.


The cliff note of it is this: I want to write books and pursue creative stuff… but I feel like that is my arrogant mortal coil fighting to find something to defend about my insipid feeble dreams.


I don’t know what God wants me to do. I have thought about fasting and prayer to ask him but at this point, I just don’t know.


I am getting along the best I Can and I been short of breath when I wake up in the morning.  It’s all so frustrating trying to find something in the morning to cling to too… and it’s so fragile and none of it has to do with what I want. The only thing is to accept God’s will in what is going on in the world and do our best to find somekind of peace in it.


Other than that I been reading the stand by Stephen King. It’s one of my favorite books, but deep down I know I should be reading scripture and praying. I just am so tired it’s so hard to get to heaven these days.


Trapped in my head and typing up another stream of conscious ramble to post on the old enter web.


Peace and love. 

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