Sometimes we’re not worthy (but thanks for listening)

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 “What are you doing” - Nana


“Being a burden and a disappointment…” -Drew


“Don’t aggravate…”  -Nana


“What are you guys into?” -Drew

 

In the background I hear my dad build up the courage to spit out “talking about you being a disappointment!”


“Shut up Michael!” - Nana


“Well, since we’re all in agreement I guess I better start making some plans.” -Drew


“We’re not all in agreement!” - Nana 


I can hear my dad giggling joyfully before the abyss.


“Shut up Michael!” My mom says obviously losing some patience.


My poor mother has MS and given the dynamics I can’t understand how she puts up with me and the rest of the family.


“Seriously what you been into?” -  Nana


“I was working on a blog post… but I don’t know how to articulate it so I gave up on it.” - Drew


“You want to talk about it?” - Nana


“Last time someone asked me that two minutes later they said ‘you know what never-mind I am not your therapist.” -Drew


“Oh OK.” - Nana


“…One time after it donned all the people I talked to at the pilot light hated me. I was driving home and let go of the steering wheel.  The car swerved off the road and I slammed the breaks tearing up someone lawn nearly hitting there house.” - Drew


“Oh OK” - Nana


“It’s weird one of the bartenders showed me one of there songs and I asked afterwards. Hey can I play you one of mine? They closed there eyes shook their head and said ‘naw man’ and I said ‘but then we can bond!’ As sarcastic as I could. He got quiet and I never said anything to him again. It’s weird but I wanted to be friends with these but there something about me always in the way always removed, or to aware or something. And It just kind of dawned on me one of them called me mom after I said ‘don’t skateboard in the bar you could fall and hurt yourself.’ He fell and said ‘don’t coddle me mom!’ That same guy offered me bath salts (still don’t know what that is) but I wanted write blog post about that whole experience just because I had this feeling that oz was out there and this was well before the trigger event of my paranoid schizophrenia.” - Drew


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