Psychonauts: some ramblings on both games.

        "If you're a lumberjack, you know what to do. You see trees, and you still have a job! If you're a writer, you see a blank page. You don't know if you still have a job. You might have great ideas—you may have no ideas." - Tim Schaefer.

My favorite game is probably psychonauts one and two (as packaged deal). They are like Kurt Vonnegut meets Stephen King by way of Rocky and Bullwinkle. 

The humor absurd the characters grounded and the purpose deep.  One of the few games that can make me laugh. With some interesting depth.

Not going to provide a synopsis of the plot you can find that elsewhere. Not sure what I will provide honestly… once upon a time I applied for a job at double fine… they never responded. I don’t blame them I was a freshly diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic trying to use a crowbar of a diagnosis to cover up a Lack of skill as an artist. 

I am have been in therapy so long (well over a decade) and written hundreds of songs serenading the love I thought was my therapist for well over a decade. I have had a breakthrough of sorts though. I am not in romantic love with my therapist. Yes, she is attractive.  No, it is not romantic… some heavy staring in the mirror of my mind has been done over the last two years. And I nearly got married to a woman (that was not my therapist!) So as a legit deranged lunatic I can say psychonauts is not insensitive. There is humor to be found in madness.

Tim is not a saint… most of us can empathize with that. Some of us should even if we don’t…. And the few that are saints can find it inside their golden hearts to forgive rest of us. He is, however, a very funny man.

What am I trying to articulate? I am uncertain. It has something to do with peace and joy. Of that I am almost certain, And potentially a fear that much like the milk man I am trying to hard to make associations that are not obvious on a good day and non-exsistant on average.

We’re all looking for a way to say “the asylum is closed.” And move on with our life.

There is nothing worse than being stuck in a loop. Of watching the same show every day on repeat for a decade while writing personal love songs to a woman who is only trying to help. I think the conclusion I have come to, is that if I was in the psychonauts universe I wouldn’t be the hero, I would need one.

“No one can get you out of this rut but yourself” - someone I have written hundreds of songs about.

I wish I could articulate to her that I understand. There is a quote by Jim dodge that goes “the mind is the shadow of the light it seeks.’ Meaning we’re the only thing getting in our way once the active symptoms has been left drugged up behind a medication fueled prison.

“What else?” Is a quote from my favorite Cormac McCarthy novel that propels it forward whenever the patient runs out of something to say. That novel is Stella Maris I am thinking of it because I am not writing a piece of journalism selling you on why you should play psychonauts. What I and doing is trying to figure what do I say at this point on the madness of my life beyond, “I don’t know but I am ready for whatever that is.”