Wayward Bound: Even swords have feelings.

“Mortal fate is hard. You'd best get used to it.”
 ―  Euripides, Medea

I am sitting in a worn leather chair as the candles dance around me. The chair is too large for one of my stature.  As I barely stand over three feet tall.

My legs are swinging back and forth, idly, as I think of how to start the story. My eyes are empty sockets with fireflies hovering inside of them. I am wearing a large scarf and combat boots. Both legs are black as are both arms, the rest of me white. I have a jack-o' lantern Grin. Though I have no nose (Take that how you will). On Halloween, I can walk around freely (mistaken for a child trick or treating). My jester's cap is my favorite thing about me. I was born with it you see. For good or ill. My name is Cosmos and I am a banished heart.

About a city, I have only seen in my dreams and even then it is too late already it is in ruins. Unsalvageable but still its ruin would linger.

Desolation in our city, from bright and early morning to the dark and hopeless night...




I sharpen my katana. One needs a sword if they wish to slay dragons. I like dragons. I have one as a friend. solders are what I fear.

The world is water and incomplete sentences.

I think that love is business without coercion.

My dragon, her name is Ojo. She can't sing, and she likes silence. I like words and her.

Do you work out?

"Yes, I do" her voice deliberately sensual... I almost got a boner thinking about it.

We both know why I asked. We both know I knew.

There are only so many archetypes of the soul. Most are impotent fathers and nineteen-year-old peter pan mother fuckers with big dicks.

"what kind are you?"

Neither, I am a chain smoker with weight issues. Far too afraid to let go of the perceived slight I have received by being who I am and too self-aware to think I have something to offer.

"How have you been lately?"

I am a three-foot-tall chubby kitten with fireflies for eyes!

Yet there is a tension of me sitting with a boner, and her staring at it. Neither of us acknowledges it. Only knowing looks of noncommunication.

I have been wanting to lose weight and stop being on the fence. I have wanted to wander out past the twilight of creation and into the judgment of being necessary, if not to the universe then to you.

I can't say that so instead I say. My brain has been acting up. my crush on you seems more in my thoughts.

"It's OK as long as that is all it is. I know what you're telling me."

I think about it. My erection is still there. She is looking me in the eyes.

I called a crisis line. they all but asked me why did you call this number.

"The clinic after hours is more for medical emergencies."

They really should have better training. I didn't even know there was a national crisis line till a friend gave me the number.

"I will talk to them about that."

How much time do I have left?

"about five minutes."

I can't do anything in five minutes.

She laughs, it's like catnip for my soul.

"I won't be in the office on Friday, I have to attend a fifth-grade class."

She stands up as I am out of time, then leans her back against the desk. she is watching my erection and I am watching her, I bight m tung and it eventually goes away. She walks me to check out. one hand trailing on her ass as if to cover up the self-perceived nakedness she must be feeling from my lustful eyes.

"I will see you next Tuesday."

I nod.

Music is where mathematics meets emotions.

Our number adds up to something even if it's an emotional passive-aggressive cheating. Friendship framed by professional circumstance.

I am at the doctor's office, I tried to jam my whole paw into my ear because it clogged with wax. In my frustration, I poured Peroxed in it and let it sit there till it burned.

"Well, there is not a lot of wax for us to flush out. But there is some heavy irritation."

Am I going to be deaf in that ear permanently?"

"I don't think so, you have what we call swimmer's ear."

A cat with a swimmer's ear?"

"I am writing you a prescription for ear drops rub the bottle in your paw to warm it up so it doesn't sting."

Microwave it?

I finally get the laugh I was looking for and a stern "noooo!"

I reassure her that I was joking. She only seems to half believe it. 

To the optimist disappointment is a legitimate form of entertainment.