Two posts in one day!?! ...I know right. But in all honesty, I am up whether I do something or not. And that is the same boat we are all in. Wondering if we should pull a bed in like John Lennon or reach out and try to do more than just not cause further damage. I am a firm believer in the idea that I would rather regret something I did than something I didn't do. It could be because my anxiety was so intense that I spent the first third of my life thinking about all the things I wish I were doing. That I have spent the last four years pushing myself out of my comfort zone so that I may actually live. And it has been better, regrets and all. I wish I had more talent or took better care of my physical health, rather than focusing on my mind for so long. I am content, however, feeling that one day when I die, I will be able to think to myself "this fucking sucks, but it is o.k."
I have been chiseling away at my book for the last couple of days and hope that unlike my music I will be able to be proud of it when I abandon it for the next project. Also, I cannot recommend Grammarly enough! It does not help with structuring paragraphs that well (I can still, even with my lack of intellect see problems that I do not know how to solve.) but, on a sentence by sentence level I have seen A vast improvement over a short period of time by its simple suggestions and corrections. I want to start taking my writing more seriously, and I think that over the next few months I will have a readable draft of Dharma-Discharge, available for any who are interested. The story is changing mainly because the healthier my mind gets, the less I feel the interest of writing my borderline misogynist sexual fantasies. Focusing instead, on what I have learned about psychology and my growing fascination with Zen and humanism.
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