I don't like this feeling...so why do I feel it?

     The way we look at identity is, uncomfortable. Your mind is as much out of  your own control as any other force of nature. The storm is founded on the ego, the survival impulse buried in a elaborate fiction. The elaborate fiction is a defense of the reality of your survival. All living things that are not broken have a will to life. While the best of us have a rage to greatness or what I think zen teachers like to call "the will to truth." The truth whatever that may be, is something close to ambition without goals or pure effort without any attachment too results. What is hard, is that we as human beings have to see ourselves (the fiction of our identity, that most people call the soul.) as something that gets in the way of us (the blood, bone and muscles that is reality.) from getting what we need, not what we want. Their is no end to what we want, because the ego uses the fiction of our identity like opium and it's a hard habit to quit, but reality is always waiting no matter how personal your relationship is to it, because you can never be rid of the fiction of this thing you call yourself. Victory is not everything, losing is necessary too become closer to god, this is why zazen is hard, this is why it is noble. Never forget that you are a animal that is capable of being intelligent but no matter how intelligent you are, you are a animal and it's time to start acting like one.

     "What is reality?" well kids I'm gonna talk about my realty, the one I think is yours. One of the most important tattoos for me that I don't have, that I can't see myself without, even tho I've yet to get it, is very simple. On my back in big bold letters I want the words "Born Loser" six inches high from shoulder to shoulder and below it about one forth the size the phrase "Mate, Feed, Kill, Repeat." For me this is a way to let everyone know, you can't hurt me anymore, it's already over. There is nothing sweet about the science of life, your fiction while fiction is a real fiction and you can't appreciate the gift that is existing, without it.