What if Oedipus was my dad? (a reframing of the past.)

 

                                        "To start with, here is a list of things I hate." -Tim Rogers.

 

I based my life on a lie, but the reality is there is a new mode of expression... It is irony through irony as sincerity or as it used to be called sarcasm.

 

Tim Rogers was my hero who I stalked (I didn't actualy stalk him I @ mention him four or five times on Twitter). then one day after a spree of @ mentions he @ mentioned me back, with a napalm bomb of reality, just the two-letter word "hi" and I was destroyed.

 

The important thing here isn't that Tim Rogers owned me (which he did!) it is that for some reason this articulate funny man brings out the inner troll in internet losers like me in a way that is embarrassing to the species.

 

It is like he inspires children to write a letter to Santa Clause and not ask for anything. His writing is rambling indirect and sometimes a blinding light to the rest of game journalism, almost as if he is high-beaming on-coming traffic just to drive them off the road. Though the headlight-blinded-uninsured assholes don't deserve the pedigree they receive for judging entertainment (as it demands a complex reaction), even when what they are assessing is a very simple entertainment.

 

Often compared to Lester Bangs, I think he is more of a Hunter S. Thomson because he inspires fervor in his readers to be caustic more than he is himself.

 

Tim is the Mario to my princess Peach and I am just waiting for a day that he will come and save me from my browser (my inner demons [this was written prediagnosis with paranoid schizophrenia and looking back at... Yeah I had some issues]) so that we can have endless sequels and make lots of money.

 

As it stands I am a paranoid schizophrenic who struggles with his inner reality. wandering if Tim will ever come through the abyss and save anyone. The Game journalism messiah is someone having fun with words. Playing with them and occasionally stumbling into truth.

 

Now for the more introspective part of the article. The explanation of the alternate title of "What if my dad was Oedipus". the answer is simple Tim Rogers is my kind of gosh-darn-hero and I am my hero's sidekick. He is the man I look at and say "Wow there is someone kinda like Buckaroo Bonzai." he doesn't rely on spell check to write and he does a good job at it.

 

He likes words and he likes games and he gave me the vocabulary of irony as sarcasm to cope with the voices in my head.

 

My inner demons or your external ones, depending on my frame of mind.

 

As it stands though he has made what he calls "my favorite game" in videoball. He still hasn't said as much as he is capable of and until he does. I like the Tracy Chapman song Fast Car will be sitting around feeling like I could be someone, with the understanding that if I don't leave tonight then I will die this way.

 

More important to me, is not, who is Tim Rogers but who is he to me. and the answer is he is my Lazor shotgun-wielding nomad and my chubby little plumber I call on when I need my sink fixed. there are no clear answers in this world.

 

Just all these dirty dishes... because, unlike me, he has nothing to prove.

 

Epilogue

 

"Daddy HAS got a Bingo! THAT! IS! A! BINGO!"

-Tim Rogers

 

Short message, I wrote this years ago and wanted to fix some issues with so I cleaned up the writing.

 

At one I was going to delete it (originally) though obviously, I have changed my mind if you are reading this(if you know me you know I delete nothing).

 

I have a fear of information loss and would rather leave evidence of my former inadequacy than make it disappear. Which may be evidence of my inadequacy.

 

I would read his novellas and articles for years trying to understand how he accomplished so much in his life.

 

Then it dawned on me that he faked confidence until he could stick the landing. Every single time.

 

There is nothing wrong with my damage or your damage as long as we are moving forward.

 

We may not all have access to a double jump but still, we carry on in our way.

 

I hope wherever you are you keep trying to move forward in your life.

 

I will do the same.