lantern soul 11

 

Out in these hills, you can hear the god of the holler. You can hear doors closing and fate directed—the slow death in every breath. There ain't no getting out of this holler alive. Lungs are consumed, burning with lighter fuel and nicotine.

 

"if I were decent, I would die," he thought. Then compulsively, he repeats it again and again. As if in each repetition, some nuance is revealed. But there is no revelation for this old boy, only pain.

 

They were standing at the register. Rachel is chewing gum and pregnant. While Apollyon appreciates the bitch for being a godless slut.

 

"Isolated in the night, these hills consume me." He said he was looking out of the store's wall of glass.

 

"Are you a virgin?" Said Rachel.

 

"Yes." Said Apollyon.

 

"Are you gay?" she said.

 

"No."

 

The silence was there but not awkward. It was the comfortable silence of two jackasses far too stupid to feel shame or regrets. They were made for this world. Maybe just stupid enough to appreciate the pale blue dot. A bubble was growing pink and large out of Rachels's mouth. The chewing gum hides most of her face and expands like a balloon on a clown's helium tank at the circus. Then suddenly, with a pop, it is deflated and sucked back in for chewing.

 

"I'll suck your cock for five dollars." Said Rachel.

 

"You serious?"

 

"You can put it anywhere else for ten?"

 

She was wiping his mess out of her. Four handfuls of toilet paper later. She left the bathroom. Her confident pregnant duck stomp of a walk stopped. He was crying.

 

"It wasn't particularly long, but you didn't do anything terrible." Her voice was soothing, confident, and reassuring.

 

"My eyes are watering."

 

"Oh, that is a relief. I thought you might be crazy," She said, then laughed one hand, trying to hide it.

 

His lower lip quivered. And he looked out of the windows again. In the isolation of the night, they embraced. She licked the side of his face and said, "you owe me ten dollars."

 

But not letting go, they watched each other, whether in relief or amazement that the other existed. Feeling a kind of joy that made things alright for once.