Brad Warner: even enlightened people need to make a living.

       Their was a point in my life when I thought I was special and not in a good way. I believed I was the worst at every thing I had ever tried too do and this feeling followed me for all of my life. Then six or seven years ago I found Brad Warner's book Hardcore Zen and begin a journey that I was always on, but could not acknowledge. The thing about Brad is that he won't be bullied or take shit. You can't even guilt him into being your Zen teacher anymore then you can guilt him into being your friend...the man is tough. It is easy to take tough people as cold people, but the difference is tough people won't tolerate that shit.

     Most of Brad Warner's work is autobiographical so I won't waste time on the logical details, other then the ones I can think of off the top of my head. For one he is the bass player for the hardcore band 0dfx, he has done some psychedelic rock albums and loves Japanese popular culture (at one point even working for a Japanese film company). All you really need to know though is that he does Zazen more then the average American and has the ability to cut to the non reductive bone that is the core of the skeleton.

     What have I learned from Brad? Zazen is good and you can't force people to take responsibility for their lives. However they can't force you too take responsibility for their lives ether. The thing about all of this is that we are born alone and die alone and how many people are in the room has nothing to do with it. I can't die your death and you can't die mine. This for me is the heart of zen. their is fellowship in our lives so far as we can all relate to being alone but ultimately it's your responsibility to find a way to live for yourself or solve the problem that is you, Zazen helps just remember even if it's the key you still have to open the door.

       The other day my brother threatened me along the lines of "If I wan't in a wheelchair I would kick your ass!" and I responded with "I'll kick your ass even though your in a wheelchair."  I am an asshole. I regret saying what I said. I did say it however. Before Zazen or or reading Brad's work I would have simply have told myself "my brother had it coming." But outside of the heat of the moment I can say I don't think so. My brother has always been violent. He put a loaded gun to my head ounce and left abandoned in a trailer in Florida when I was not diagnosed till later, but was still very much a paranoid schizophrenic. I didn't Have food for long spells or water for that matter. I was delusional and insane, now maybe I am just delusional. I will say I was wrong and that you should never threaten a cripple, you will always be wrong.

      Back to the main topic. Ounce several years back I asked Brad a question on twitter, can't remember my question other then it was about my intent while doing Zazen. But I do remember his answer "doesn't matter ether way just do it!" And that is one thing I love about him and zen it's not about why, but what. Zazen is a practice not a belief system and we should all just do it. I practice alone but if you can find a teacher that is what most of the "enlightened" recommend. I am content however to read his books and encourage you to do the same. because even enlightened people need to make a living.