The Sock-Monkey As Alone

 still working on the skirmish game version of Panzer Strider but until it is finished here is the expanded rules of star punks (set int he same universe) and collected stories from that universe. it is cot finished yet a revision should come out at the end of next month. but all constructive criticism welcome and appreciated   . https://dharmadischarge.itch.io/panzer-strider-or-star-punk-stories  

 So I made a tunnel goons hack for those who are interested. I am still working on panzer strider. this game exists in the same setting as that game. Just though I would share here that I am still alive. this is a ttrpg I hope you dig it.     https://dharmadischarge.itch.io/star-punks

 

   Chapter one Drifting through the lake of stars. Out of the port hole of the celestial cruiser christened Giga-Death, we see a small starship large enough to hold a hundred persons drifting serenely through the lake of stars. Aziel Bartholomew lay in his bunk in his cell waiting for the trial that would lead to his execution. He knows that By the standard of the Scarlet Templars, he is guilty. He betrayed the royal family, and embarrassing the Royals is a cardinal mistake for anyone living around these parts. The Celestial Dynasty is an empire in the galaxy known as the lake of stars. This empire has over a hundred thousand planets within its space. Each one has a king. Each king has an army. This is an age of fragile peace. Every gambit of the political spectrum is expressed in how these planets are governed. Some near utopian democracies while others are prisons for breeding prisoners. The kingdom is diverse but power is the name of the game. Aziel killed two of his

 "If i can live in your dream you can live in mine." - Bob Dylan.    I have had one of roughest years of my life.   Thought about deleting this blog and getting rid of my internet presence. I decided though I have said don't be ashamed of who you used to be for nearly fifteen years and I agree with that but am tired. Like you are most likely tired, this year has stunk. It's hard finding meaning in the contradictions of life. I don't want to share to much on personal stuff but I had all my teeth pulled six months ago. I have had no dentures or teeth FOR six months. it's has been rough. I lost like seventy pounds and have been eating mashed potatoes and oatmeal all year. I finally should get my dentures in the next week. So I can start learning to sing with them and talk and such. I have decided that I am not going to focus on confessional writing / deeply autobiographical writing because I think I have reached a point with where I can share things with friends

Your eyes are brighter than shooting stars. Where life lives on the edge of your smile. The fire is forged in you (or what we are). Eternal without the joy of the wild share some of The end of the beginning The ups and downs without resting states, You are the song I pursue to sing Waiting for the judgment of destiny  I wish I was inspiring as you  A servant of our God eternal  I know your aware of his love’s truth. I am grateful chey (it is that simple) But may you serve as the song of our lord Your the harmony accompanying the chords

When I was a kid I was sexually abused by my moms cousin. I didn’t even know what had happened till my uncle showed a hentai about demons raping women. I did drawings inspired by the hentai and my parents who never gave me the talk thought I was a serial killer or demon possessed because I was extremely sheltered as far as culture I was exposed too as far as they knew. Yet my dad watched serial killer documentary’s on A&E they freaked me out because I though I was like them because of the drawings they discovered in my closet. This has lead to a huge amount of guilt and self hatred.  Example I have always had a fascination with bondage stuff but never let myself indulge in it even with my partners who share in interest in it. If only because I just have some hang ups with it. I made a friend who I loved talking to but because I am so fucked up and I feel like it is impossible for me not to screw shit up. I am not talking to her right now. Spent most of the last couple of days suici