Talking far to much reading to little

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 Ico was a foundational aesthetic for me more than Hayao Miyazaki though Nausica is also a huge influence. More than blame or biomega by tsumo nihei.  Ico really affected me.


The dreamlike dance of the imagery the anarchic dislocation of what is the objective. The longing and beauty we never can fully understand. Slaves to destiny. This is the simple concept of a boy and a girl holding hands. The bloom heavy visual style of the art direction. 


I think my aesthetic is a lot like tsumo nihei works around the blame and noise period. But it’s not because I favor is work or he is a direct influence it is because the ico meets warhammer 40k aesthetic that is my direct influences is very similar to nihei works.


I have been trying to not share as much as I can and slow myself to grow as a person before sharing more art but I also feel that… my ambition is to share. My hope is to be an artist.  Imagery an atmosphere shaping a contemporary way of viewing things all the while… trying to tap into the folkloric horror the human mind has hidden has away inside the wrinkle of our brains. 


Jim Henson and his story teller and dark crystal movies are another touchstone in my life. The idea that these older anecdotal fairy-tail narrative’s can speak to us through the technology that surrounds us is one of the more interesting facts about existing in this world and the opportunity this life has for us.


I am rambling a lot tonight not sure how much of this enabling will make it too the blog typing away at my coffee table thinking of a list of things I have already likely written about years ago in some kind of more incoherent meditation on the desire of my thoughts as I document them.    


Lack of proper tense is my failing as a writer something I really need to work on. Research acknowledge and learn from the failings of this simple nostalgia. This trap I have made for myself. Of reruns and clinging to an aesthetic stance that is no longer mine. 


Though it also must be said that I also have been reading quite a bit this year. Read the original Pinocchio and Ridley walker two of my favorite books.


Though I have not read as much as I have wanted too. I have a self destructive urge somewhere inside the deepest vaults of my mind. That will not slow me the grace of doing what I am told… even if it is my heart resisting its own instruction.


I feel so much better with a good book in my hand not knowing what will happen but hoping that when I am surprised it is not with disappointment.


So many books I have started and not finished. I am hoping that I can get back into the indulging myself with structured language more often. Shibumi I started four months ago and have avoided for OCD reasons. Though it is one of the best thrillers I have read in years. Blindsight is one of my favorite books I am about half way through  but I think about reading it more than reading it.


Part of me thinks it is a symptom of my diagnosis but I also really enjoy reading but am almost afraid to sit down with a book. It is may favorite art form I just don’t know why my difficult resists a solution to the problem that is how I wish to spend my time.


Anyways, peace and love.


See you tomorrow.

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