The Sock-Monkey As Alone

 Escape plan: a poem My mom ran after her puppy  He had been sick for too long He was bounding like a rabbit in spring… running away… Best we can figure is he didn’t want her to see him die But For good or ill She didn’t let him go She caught him and swept Him up in her arms Gently she said “what are you doing?” Bouncing him like a baby Getting ready to a nap. He passed away in her arms  I can see his reflection in her eyes while she holds him shaking with long quiet tears.

  Truth exists beyond our comprehension of it. The 1’s and 0’s of the hard drive of reality, our souls are stored on. Atoms are to matter what neurons are to thoughts. Meaning is to metaphysics what calculations are to physics. Reduction is seeing a Schrödinger's cat alive or dead before the box is opened. What happened after the box is opened is the only confirmed hallucination. Speculation got us here… but can it get us out of the box?

 The ending. It’s strange but totally obvious Kind of of out of control Only we’re driving the car The imponderable darkness Of knowing you can’t say what You need to say Because the battle was lost Because half our forces Thought they were above the game Of cause and affect But I type If only so I can still say anything It’s not about hopelessness Nor is it about judgment It’s about not being Able to not fear the spider In the bedroom

  Alone my hand drifts through the lake of stars... As memories pass through the passage shared. where the old feelings fall like aging scars. On memories of contrast and despair.   It is the dragon of the Milky Way... Robed in a green and orange leather coat. With a black fur proud like a lion's mane, as a cutlass is to a dragon's throat.   "it is the prayer of my pilgrimage That we should remember where we depart. The purity within a sacrament that the blade of the word will remain sharp."   From where the dead are to dance in the light... that this death may return and be alive!

  For the second time today the clocks around the world stopped. First there was the threat of world war three then the bombs dropped. The mushroom clouds swallowed all of history in a few bites. Yet the poor bastard... Edward Blue-water had a girl on his mind. Things were not over maybe especially in the afterlife. His daughter was supposed to be born today. He was running next to his wife as the doctor's wheeled her toward the maternity ward. She was screaming at him. "I don't care what I said to better damn well give me some painkillers or I will get drunk on your blood!" "That's it honey just keep breathing, that's right deep breaths." Said Edward. "I swear to the most high I will make you pay for putting me in this situation." Said his wife. That was the last thing she said before the mushroom clouds sang their song. A quire of destruction in the temple of tomorrow. His daughter was a late term abortion as were any of his hopes for the...

I have been working on a hypertext that collages together elements of most of the Panzer Strider fiction. Into a chaotic multiple-choice hyper text. I have already written the ending and am working towards it. When it is finished it will be about a novel's worth of text at about a third done it is over twenty five thousand words. I had to take a break from writing several years ago because I felt I was running on empty. I kept starting and stopping projects, which culminated in the first version of Panzer Strider. If you have read is a man getting raped in the ass and then his bird friend, messiah, kills the family of the man who did it and is crucified. I don't know what this was about other than my mental illness crying out trying to find some kind of stopping me from pushing myself further down the rabbit hole of being "productive". The new version of Panzer Strider is not that one. It almost exclusively shares the vaguest hint of the former setting. IT has mecha,...

1 Nirvana - in utero The band that changed my life. I thought I was Kurt Cobain for over a year hallucinating and psychotic. A band that is in my DNA that I am still trying move passed. from he symmetrical melodies droning post industrial riff and amateurish anti-hero solos.  I made every kid in the 90s think I could do that and of course we couldn't... Kurt executed rock n roll for being the unobtainable dream that only madness and purest pursue nowadays as the rest of the rest of the world samples those old hits or plays in similarly sad cover bands.   2 Slipkot - All hope is gone. The maggots on the corpse of rock n' roll was Heavy Metal where all the worst tendency's of rock n roll are what you aspired to. Cliche extremes of horror film imagery and pornography's emotional complexity. A nightmare that swallowed the dreams of a generations looking for the party... though with understanding we approached it like Jason approached a victim in Friday the Thirteenth.  and ...